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We live in a time where “personal happiness” is the ultimate good. It has stepped over all other goods, even Good Himself, God. And the media is doing a really good job promoting this new god.
There is nothing wrong about personal happiness, it its right context. God commands us to be a cheerful giver, so we know He is not a kill joy. But when personal happiness becomes king, here is where the problem starts.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Real Joy Vs Shallow Happiness
We live in a time where “personal happiness” is the ultimate good. It has stepped over all other goods, even Good Himself, God. And the media is doing a really good job promoting this new god.
There is nothing wrong about personal happiness, it its right context. God commands us to be a cheerful giver, so we know He is not a kill joy. But when personal happiness becomes king, here is where the problem starts.
The word “success” seems to be always in the air. Are you one of those who are trying to catch it? Grasp it? Breathe it?
The modern man seems to desire success more than ever. He has pursued it with much zeal and passion. He has gone to a lot of sacrifice in the name of “success.”
But only a few actually thought about the success they are pursuing. Most of us pursue success and not really have a clear end goal.
Why I am doing this? Why am I seeking success? Questions few actually ask and meditate. To fail to ask this question is to waste a life time of effort.
In us, lies an inherent longing for happiness, joy and eventually eternal bliss. God has left this desire for joy in our soul so that we will seek him, for only He can fully make us happy. He is the eternal bliss Himself. Look into yourself and you will see that most of your actions are fueled by the desire for joy.
When we look at it, we pursue success to be happy. Success is just the means to find joy. Some say that they pursue success to be fulfilled, but even fulfillment is accompanied by joy. That is how you can say to yourself you are fulfilled, when you have a sense of joy in you.
Our problem today is that we have sought the means and not the end. We have pursued success for its own sake. We seem to be obsessed with the process and not the product. We sought wealth crazily only to find in the end that our possessions did not make us happy. At that point we are left with the question “What now?” It is a question that has driven many to despair.
To try to be successful for the sake of “being successful” is to have an unsubstantial goal. Success is the process of buying the food, not the food itself. To get stuck in the process of buying the food is to end up hungry.
Being an accomplished person is not as the same as being a successful person. Hitler was able to accomplish to move Germany to war and kill millions of people. I have not seen Hitler’s name in any “success” books.
Can you consider a miserable person successful?
If you end up miserable in the process of pursuing success, then you just have defeated your purpose. All your accomplishments will mean nothing if you are not happy. You might have the resources to numb the pain, but it does not take it away.
“What profit a man to gain the whole world and loses his soul?” Jesus said.
Success is a tool for joy. It is a tool for love as well, for only love can bring us everlasting joy. If you really want to be successful in this life and the next, then you must make love your end goal.
If loving God and loving your neighbor is the motivation and end goal of your pursuit for success, then your success will be substantial and joyful. It is a success that you can take with you on the next life.
So what is your reason in pursuing success?
We live in a consumerist world where more is merrier and big is better. We believe happiness is all about the glimmer and the glamour, the excitement and the thrills.
People seem to jump from one sensation to the next in search of joy. From shopping to clubbing, parties and vacations, we seem to never get enough of them. (By the way it is amazing that people who take vacation these days need another vacation to recover from their so called vacation.)
But are we happy with what we have? Have our activities brought us joy or just plain fatigue?
The problem of looking joy in these things is, like getting drunk, the feelings are all gone the next day we wake up. And like a drunk, we start to go again in a spree. And the futile cycle goes on and on.
We all know that worldly things can never give us lasting happiness, but we all want to prove it ourselves.
And so we waste our time.
In the end, we waste our life.
So where can we find joy?
It starts with a “J” and ends in “us”.
Jesus.
Jesus is our joy, in this life and the next. But Jesus too is our guide in finding joy. His life is map to finding real and (ever) lasting happiness.
Together with the Resurrection, Christmas is the most joyful event in history. It is when Divine Joy became flesh and dwelt among us.
So how did Divine Joy entered our world?
He did not enter the world in wealth, power and privilege. He entered poorly and humbly. The shepherd and the wise men did not found joy in the castle of Herod, but in a cave out of nowhere. They did not saw Joy wrapped in gold but in swaddling clothes. Joy is found where you least expect it.
Real joy does not come from stuff-ing yourself, nor going from one high to the next. You could have traveled around the world and only have fatigue to show. Real joy is much simpler, much closer. It is close as your neighbor. Joy is found where you least expect it.
Joy is found in doing the simplest act of love. Joy is to feed a hungry child, to visit the old and abandoned or to comfort the sick. The most joyful people I know are those who have chosen to dedicate their lives to the forgotten and powerless. Their life did not revolved in satisfying themselves but bring joy to those they serve. And amidst all the poverty and suffering they deal with everyday, they have found joy. And it is a joy that the world cannot give. Joy is found where you least expect it.
Joy is found not when you “take em’ all” but when you “give em’ all”. The more you grab joy for yourself, the more you lose it, the more you give it away, the more it comes to you.
So find joy in love and love with joy.
God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.
- C. S. Lewis
There is nothing wrong about personal happiness, it its right context. God commands us to be a cheerful giver, so we know He is not a kill joy. But when personal happiness becomes king, here is where the problem starts.
The word “success” seems to be always in the air. Are you one of those who are trying to catch it? Grasp it? Breathe it?
The modern man seems to desire success more than ever. He has pursued it with much zeal and passion. He has gone to a lot of sacrifice in the name of “success.”
But only a few actually thought about the success they are pursuing. Most of us pursue success and not really have a clear end goal.
Why I am doing this? Why am I seeking success? Questions few actually ask and meditate. To fail to ask this question is to waste a life time of effort.
In us, lies an inherent longing for happiness, joy and eventually eternal bliss. God has left this desire for joy in our soul so that we will seek him, for only He can fully make us happy. He is the eternal bliss Himself. Look into yourself and you will see that most of your actions are fueled by the desire for joy.
When we look at it, we pursue success to be happy. Success is just the means to find joy. Some say that they pursue success to be fulfilled, but even fulfillment is accompanied by joy. That is how you can say to yourself you are fulfilled, when you have a sense of joy in you.
Our problem today is that we have sought the means and not the end. We have pursued success for its own sake. We seem to be obsessed with the process and not the product. We sought wealth crazily only to find in the end that our possessions did not make us happy. At that point we are left with the question “What now?” It is a question that has driven many to despair.
To try to be successful for the sake of “being successful” is to have an unsubstantial goal. Success is the process of buying the food, not the food itself. To get stuck in the process of buying the food is to end up hungry.
Being an accomplished person is not as the same as being a successful person. Hitler was able to accomplish to move Germany to war and kill millions of people. I have not seen Hitler’s name in any “success” books.
Can you consider a miserable person successful?
If you end up miserable in the process of pursuing success, then you just have defeated your purpose. All your accomplishments will mean nothing if you are not happy. You might have the resources to numb the pain, but it does not take it away.
“What profit a man to gain the whole world and loses his soul?” Jesus said.
Success is a tool for joy. It is a tool for love as well, for only love can bring us everlasting joy. If you really want to be successful in this life and the next, then you must make love your end goal.
If loving God and loving your neighbor is the motivation and end goal of your pursuit for success, then your success will be substantial and joyful. It is a success that you can take with you on the next life.
So what is your reason in pursuing success?
We live in a consumerist world where more is merrier and big is better. We believe happiness is all about the glimmer and the glamour, the excitement and the thrills.
People seem to jump from one sensation to the next in search of joy. From shopping to clubbing, parties and vacations, we seem to never get enough of them. (By the way it is amazing that people who take vacation these days need another vacation to recover from their so called vacation.)
But are we happy with what we have? Have our activities brought us joy or just plain fatigue?
The problem of looking joy in these things is, like getting drunk, the feelings are all gone the next day we wake up. And like a drunk, we start to go again in a spree. And the futile cycle goes on and on.
We all know that worldly things can never give us lasting happiness, but we all want to prove it ourselves.
And so we waste our time.
In the end, we waste our life.
So where can we find joy?
It starts with a “J” and ends in “us”.
Jesus.
Jesus is our joy, in this life and the next. But Jesus too is our guide in finding joy. His life is map to finding real and (ever) lasting happiness.
Together with the Resurrection, Christmas is the most joyful event in history. It is when Divine Joy became flesh and dwelt among us.
So how did Divine Joy entered our world?
He did not enter the world in wealth, power and privilege. He entered poorly and humbly. The shepherd and the wise men did not found joy in the castle of Herod, but in a cave out of nowhere. They did not saw Joy wrapped in gold but in swaddling clothes. Joy is found where you least expect it.
Real joy does not come from stuff-ing yourself, nor going from one high to the next. You could have traveled around the world and only have fatigue to show. Real joy is much simpler, much closer. It is close as your neighbor. Joy is found where you least expect it.
Joy is found in doing the simplest act of love. Joy is to feed a hungry child, to visit the old and abandoned or to comfort the sick. The most joyful people I know are those who have chosen to dedicate their lives to the forgotten and powerless. Their life did not revolved in satisfying themselves but bring joy to those they serve. And amidst all the poverty and suffering they deal with everyday, they have found joy. And it is a joy that the world cannot give. Joy is found where you least expect it.
Joy is found not when you “take em’ all” but when you “give em’ all”. The more you grab joy for yourself, the more you lose it, the more you give it away, the more it comes to you.
So find joy in love and love with joy.
God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.
- C. S. Lewis
Love cannot overstep freedom of will
Why does a loving God allow people to feel pain? Why does a God who claims to care for people allow us to go through horrible situations which lead to mental anguish and/or physical trauma? How can a God who is supposedly love allow hundreds of thousands of innocent people to die of starvation and disease around the world?...
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Steps of a process to eliminate the beliefs
Step 1: What is the belief?(This is a modified version of the Lefkoe Belief Process, which is © 1985 Morty Lefkoe)
Mistakes and failure are bad.
Step 2: What is the source of the belief? What happened (usually before the age of six if it’s a self-esteem belief) that led to this belief being formed?
Mom and dad were critical of me when I didn’t do what they wanted, when they wanted, or the way they wanted. They said things like: “Can’t you do anything right?” “When are you going to learn?” Sometimes they’d just look and sound disappointed and sometimes they got angry and yelled.
Step 3: Can you see that, although the meaning you gave the events (your belief) is one logically valid interpretation, there are three of four others? Name a few other possible meanings for my behavior and mom and dad’s reaction to it.
Mom and dad’s annoyance at me when I didn’t live up to their expectations could have several meanings: Mom and dad thought mistakes and failure were bad, but they were wrong. Mistakes and failure were bad in my house; they might not have been bad in other households. Mom and dad didn’t understand that mistakes and failure can be great learning experiences and aren’t bad at all. Mom and dad got annoyed at me, not because mistakes and failure are bad, but because they had unreasonable expectations of me as a young child.
Step 4: After helping find several other interpretations, ask: Can you see that your interpretation (your belief) is not the truth, it is only a truth, one possible interpretation of several that explain the events? The answer usually will be, yes.
Yes. It is only a truth.
Step 5: Imagine being present during the earlier events where your belief was formed. Doesn’t it seem as if you can see [the words of the belief]? The answer usually will be, yes.
I did see it.
Step 6. Can you really “see” [the words of the belief]? If you can really “see” it, tell me what it looks like, the shape, color, and location?
I can’t see it. The belief was only in my mind, not in the world.
Step 7. Can you get that, although there certainly were consequences of mom and dad’s comments and behavior, it had no meaning? In other words, you don’t know anything for sure about mistakes and failure merely from how your parents responded to your behavior as a child, do you?
No, I don’t. The childhood events have no inherent meaning. Only the meaning I gave them.
Step 8. Say the words of the belief. … Does this statement still feel like the truth? The answer usually will be, no.
The belief is gone.
Why do we all fear failure?
Seth spends most of his latest book encouraging people to overcome this fear and giving them tips on how to do it.
I totally agree with Seth that what is needed most in this world is innovation that is turned into products and services and then shipped. I also agree that fear of mistakes and failure is the biggest barrier to people doing this.
But I have a slight disagreement about why so many people are afraid. Yes, we do have a reptilian brain where the only thing that counts is our survival. That’s why anything we perceive as threatening our survival will produce the emotion of fear.
But what determines what we perceive to be a threat to our survival? What makes people fear mistakes and failure are two beliefs that most people seem to have: Mistakes and failure are bad and If I make a mistake or fail I’ll be rejected. If you think it is bad to make a mistake or fail and that you will be rejected if you do either of these two things, you will experience fear and, in far too many cases, the fear will inhibit action.
I totally agree with Seth that what is needed most in this world is innovation that is turned into products and services and then shipped. I also agree that fear of mistakes and failure is the biggest barrier to people doing this.
But I have a slight disagreement about why so many people are afraid. Yes, we do have a reptilian brain where the only thing that counts is our survival. That’s why anything we perceive as threatening our survival will produce the emotion of fear.
But what determines what we perceive to be a threat to our survival? What makes people fear mistakes and failure are two beliefs that most people seem to have: Mistakes and failure are bad and If I make a mistake or fail I’ll be rejected. If you think it is bad to make a mistake or fail and that you will be rejected if you do either of these two things, you will experience fear and, in far too many cases, the fear will inhibit action.
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